JOIN Me

This month's T-SQL Tuesday (#23) is hosted by Stuart Ainsworth (Blog | Twitter) and he has selected JOINs as this month's topic.


I thought the topic seemed mildly interesting from a deep technical perspective.  If you agree, you might find some good reading here or here, and I've even touched on the topic of Legacy JOINs.  However, I do deep technical writing much of each day, and I sometimes like to relax and ramble a bit in the blog.  If it's SQL Server related rambling, so much the better.

Besides, I don't know anything particularly deep or technical about JOINs in SQL Server.  Come to think of it, there are a lot of deep technical things I don't know about SQL Server in general that can be solved by a few JOINs.


Here some JOINs that have helped me to solve deep technical problems in SQL Server.  Maybe they've helped you, too.


JOIN... the Professional Association for SQL Server
JOIN... your local SQL Server User Group
JOIN... your SQL Server Peers for a SQL Lunch
JOIN... an online SQL Server Forum
JOIN... an online SQL Server Community for the Inside scoop
JOIN... twitter for the #SQLHelp hash tag
JOIN... your workmates for lunch


All those things you don't know about SQL Server?  The places above are absolutely loaded with folks who DO know them... oftentimes even the coworker you didn't realize had seen it before.  And, do you know what else?  To somebody less experienced than you with SQL Server, you will be one of the ones with the answer.


So JOIN up with somebody else and promote some SQL Server excellence.

The Absolute Best

This month's T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Jes Schultz Borland ( Blog | Twitter ) and she has selected Aggregate Functions as this month's topic.


Besides helping data make the transformation to information and to tell their story better, I would suggest that Aggregate Functions are the basis for all meaningful communication. 

Big claim, right?  Just remember, it can't be the worst claim without an aggregate function.  To illustrate, I'm going to tell a short story two times.  One time without aggregate fuctions, and one time with aggregate functions.

The story starts with Bobby.  Yes, that's Bobby Tables, but he's all grown up now, and sells leather-free cowboy boots.

Bobby went to the computer store and purchased a post-PC device.  He had just received his annual sales bonus, and wanted to splurge on something new.  After making it through the checkout process and returning home, Bobby was pleased to discover that he could access his home network through the device.  Bobby was content with his purchase.

Here it is again.  See if you can spot the aggregate functions...

Bobby went to his favorite computer store and purchased the market leading post-PC device.  He had just received his largest annual sales bonus, and wanted to splurge on something new.  After making in through the most customer friendly checkout process and returning home in record time, Bobby was pleased to discover that this device had the easiest setup for accessing his home network.  Bobby thought this was the best purchase he had ever made.

Did you spot the aggregate functions?

• favorite computer store: having preference = max(preference)
• market leading post-PC device: having market_share = max(market_share)
• largest annual sales bonus: having bonus = max(bonus)
• most customer friendly: having customer_experience = max(customer_experience)
• returning home in record time: having transit_time = min(transit_time)
• easiest setup: having setup_difficulty = min(setup_difficulty)
• best purchase ever: having buyers_remorse = min(buyers_remorse)

Whether it's to define What's in a Name, or to describe an evening out on the town, we can't communicate effectively without aggregate functions, and we can't learn anything from our data without them.  Without aggregate functions, there is no superlative.  Nothing is better than average, nothing comes first, nothing comes last, there is no typical.

So, next time somebody tells you the bathroom is the first door on the left, or you do something the fastest, or you are rated the highest, take a moment to thank your aggregate functions.  

They are the best.

Lies, Damned Lies, and Resolutions

Thank you to Microsoft MVP and rampant blogger, tweeter, and silver-screen maven Jen McCown for hosting this month's T-SQL Tuesday (#14).  Congratulations, Jen! (Yes, I'm a fan of the Midnight DBAs)

Many people claim they don't make new year resolutions.  A few of them are telling the truth.  The rest have secret resolutions they won't disclose for fear of failing publicly.  I fall in the latter category.

With this in mind, I have not resolved to get a SQL Server Certification: I have pre-purchased an Exam 4-Pack to cover a double MCITP and am sitting the MCTS: SQL Server 2008, Database Developer today.

I have also not resolved to participate in a T-SQL Tuesday:  I am writing and submitting my first post right now. Insecure?  Yep.  Letting it trip me up?  Not this time.

These things started off as secret professional resolutions, but I've decided to take action on them.

I still have other secret resolutions, mainly recycled secret failures from years past.  Will I be acting on them?  Some yes, and some no.  Will I put them out there as "resolutions" and risk the public failure?  I guess so.

• That 100 extra pounds (45 Kg / 7 stone) I've acquired since settling down?  Nope.  Not going to resolve it.  I am, however, "resolving" to spend some quality time with the exercise bike so I can manage the stairs better and let the weight take care of itself.  You have my permission to call me on it in a couple months.

• Replace the broken dishwasher?  Nope.  I'm going to hire somebody who's good at it to do it for me.  I make my living specializing in SQL Server and don't expect my clients to be especially brilliant with database systems.  Why should I expect to hack together a home repair that's anything but mediocre?  A quick note here: my house of full of mediocre but largely functional do-it-yourself jobs, so letting this go is a bit of a challenge for me.

• Speak at the local SQL Server User Group?  If they'll have me again.

So, nothing spectacular, just a few public steps out of the comfort zone.  Won't you join me?